My Journey of Authentic Self-Expression and Healing

This is my first time writing a blog-style story, and I’ll be honest—I’m not much of a writer. But I know there are many of us who have wanted to tell our story, yet for one reason or another, we hold back. Maybe it’s fear, doubt, or simply not knowing where to begin. For those of you who have felt the urge to express yourselves but have hesitated—this is for you. It’s for those who feel a part of them wants to hide, yet deep down, something is itching to burst forth and speak your truth.

There’s a voice inside each of us that longs to be heard, an authentic part of us that yearns to express who we truly are. Yet, at times, another part of us hides behind a mask—one that reflects the weight of adult responsibilities, societal expectations, and all the “shoulds” we’ve been conditioned to follow.

I know how difficult it is to balance this. It’s not easy to find that sweet spot between being grounded and feeling free, between being practical and embracing your true, wild self. But trust me, it is possible.

As women, this struggle can feel even more pronounced. Despite the freedoms and independence many of us experience, there are moments when we feel our voices are unheard. We might feel shy, or we might feel “too much” in a world that asks us to tone it down. But here’s the thing: It’s in that very place—where we feel unsure—that our truest power lies. That’s where our authentic voice waits to be unleashed.

This post is dedicated to all those adults who feel the burden of being high achievers while having to suppress their creativity. For those who have been told to silence their voices and hide their self-expression, or who were never allowed to connect with that creative spark. It’s a generational healing that needs to be done. It’s not a quick fix, but healing begins when we acknowledge it. Just a generation or two ago, survival was the priority—putting food on the table and providing shelter. But now, the priorities have shifted. Most of our basic needs are met, yet we still carry the generational burden of emotional suppression.

As a child, I was always the high-achieving girl—performing at the top of my class and excelling in extracurriculars, particularly music. In our South Asian culture, creativity was encouraged, but education was always given higher priority than arts or sports. I became the girl who made her parents proud, terrified of making a mistake because I constantly heard them speak highly of me. I was trained to be the obedient “good girl,” the one who spoke only when necessary, never showed anger (even when it hurt), and suppressed sorrow, while being conditioned to stand tall and toughen up.

To meet these expectations, I dressed in more “masculine” clothes, projecting an image of toughness. But deep inside, there was another side of me—a wild, free spirit who loved running through forests, catching butterflies, wearing nail polish, making quirky hairstyles, singing loudly, and dancing in the rain. I loved drawing and writing poems. Although my singing and art were appreciated, they were always sidelined by the emphasis on academics and performance.

This was confusing for me as a young girl. My creative side was cherished, but only when it didn’t interfere with my studies. The “wild” part of me was often dismissed with logical explanations. I was praised for being the “good girl,” the serious one who followed the rules. As I grew older, the accolades for academic success came, but at the expense of pushing aside my creative spirit. I was excelling academically, but it was at the cost of suppressing my free, expressive side.

I remember in school, whenever I spoke up or made a fuss—especially with the boys—I was told that I was the “first girl” and needed to set an example. I was disciplined when I raised my voice or expressed anger. I wasn’t allowed to feel that anger. Instead, I was expected to embody softness, humility, and resilience—qualities that society deemed acceptable for me. When I considered pursuing music as a career, I was told that it wasn’t practical and that I couldn’t make a real living from it. The fear of failure was planted in my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I was good at science and truly loved it, but a part of me wanted to be a performer. I was stopped from taking music auditions, as my family feared it would interfere with my studies.

At the time, I took this to heart, and a part of me felt silenced. It took over a decade for me to heal from that experience and understand that my family’s fears were rooted in their own generational burdens—no one in our family had ever followed that creative path.

That experience took me 12 to 13 years to find my voice again. Along the way, I struggled with chronic anxiety, physical health issues, mood swings, and spiritual awakenings, all of which helped me uncover the root cause of my disconnect. I had been exploring various spiritual practices since childhood, but something was still missing.

I earned a Bachelor's and Master's in Physics, pursued a PhD in Mechanical Engineering, and spent 5–6 years working in the tech and corporate research world. Yet, during all of this, I still felt disconnected. I struggled with people-pleasing habits, had a hard time setting boundaries, and constantly overworked myself. I felt like an imposter. I believed I was “too loud,” and there was an underlying frustration with my parents, even though I loved them. Deep down, I had a feeling of being unsettled. Every time I tried to sing, I felt a lump in my throat, afraid to be loud.

Starting 2019 post a major spiritual awakening process, I began doing deep healing work—focusing on inner child, generational healing, somatic healing work, and spiritual practices. After 5 years of cleansing, I finally reconnected with my voice—a voice that loves to be loud, a voice that is rooted in who I am, a voice that holds untamed power without needing to hide. I began to feel truly connected to myself.

Though I had received musical training over the years, it wasn’t until I started showing up authentically in my life that my voice finally opened up. It became clear to me: your voice isn’t just about singing or musical training—it’s about how you show up in the world.

I realized, when you start connecting to your authentic self, your expression becomes free. The most powerful expression of that authenticity is your voice. With my own journey, experiences and collected practices over the years, I am ready to share it with you. Now, my mission is to help you find your power—your authentic expression. I want to help you release the generational burdens you’ve been carrying and finally allow you to tell your story, your way.